Constructor: Tom Pepper and Zhouqin Burnikel
Relative difficulty: Easy-Medium (3:20)
THEME: "THIS IS NOT A TOY" (36A: Product warning label appropriate for the answers to the four starred clues) — themers are not toys but their first words can be...Theme answers:
I did not notice the theme while solving, despite driving right through the revealer there in the middle. Didn't really think about what it meant. Just kept plowing ahead. When I finished and looked back, then I saw it, and it seems fine, though kind of dull and *very* old-fashioned. Are these still toys for ... anyone? Even the yo-yo seems retro. Also, is a rattle a toy? If I had to list a thousand toys, I don't think "rattle" would be in there, though I guess if you're an infant, then ... sure, toy. I think of a "toy" as something a kid chooses to play with. You just hand a baby a "rattle" ... don't you? I have no idea, why in the world would you hand an infant a horrible noise-maker, it makes no sense to me? Pretty sure my daughter never had a rattle. Turns out babies can make their own sounds and also smash things into other things to create sounds, so rattle shmattle. Rattle shmattle, not a toy. As for the rest of the puzzle, yeesh, it's pretty mothbally. The puzzle goes ONA RUNOF tiresome answers, including INRE ITTY TSARS SRI, SLR COED AOL SNL NSYNC ETON and NAE, ALAS. "SI SI / SEÑOR" made me wince a little. Something slightly ... uh ... caricaturey about it. You do get a couple of interesting entries in the long Downs (SOB STORY, TOTAL LIE), but it's not enough to compensate for the morass of plodding fill. I feel like my hangups on this puzzle are very telling. I blanked on TOBY Keith and blanked even harder on CORTANA (which ... is that still a thing? I get it confused with Microsoft's encyclopedia ... ENCARTA, was it? Ugh). I am a big fan of the espresso drink the CORTADO, and I really wish that could've been worked in here instead of this Microsoft mumbo jumbo. Anyway, modern country, Microsoft, not my things, hence my struggles. See! Telling! Also telling: I wrote in ESPN at 38D: ESPN's Arthur ___ Courage Award (ASHE). Yes, you read that right. I wrote in ESPN. I had the "S" in the second position and I dunno, my brain just completely misfired. I don't think I even saw the "Arthur" part of the clue. Weird. I am a sloppy clue reader; that is what that stumble tells you about me. Wrote in RTE at 41A: Info for an Uber or Lyft customer, for short (ETA), which tells you that I have never ever summoned an Uber or a Lyft, though I have ridden in a few, I think. In other cities, when other people are calling the shots. I like public transport. Or walking. I really like walking. I have also taken to birdwatching, by which I mean I just started paying attention to the birds in my trees and yard. And on my walks. You just start watching birds and bam, you're birdwatching. It's kind of weird how easy it is. Watched swallows acrobatically skimming the river just beneath the pedestrian bridge yesterday. Watched blue jays snapping twigs from my lilac bushes and maple trees to today. Watched robins walk / run around with their big stupid feet like idiots. The red breast is cool and all, but I have determined they are the dopiest birds of them all. Well, mourning doves and pigeons aren't too sharp either. But even the dopes are entertaining to watch. Where was I? Finished with this puzzle, apparently. Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld