Going on a first date is one stressful task. And sometimes, it's so stressful that many of us don't pay any attention to what to text after a first date so make the perfect transition – to the second date or to bye-bye land.
I remember being stressed beyond belief when going on a date with a guy I liked. There are so many things going on in your mind while you're trying to make sure you say the right thing or not embarrass yourself. It's a lot of pressure for someone to deal with. But, if you made it through the first date, just know it's over, and now you need to look ahead.
And right now, your next move is the post-first date text.
Oh, I know all about that text. It's a pretty big deal as it paves out what's going to happen in the future. Will there be a second date? That's the big question, and this text shows you whether or not it's a yes or no.
[Read: Texting before the first date – A full guide to perfect texting before the meetup]
But if you're wondering what to text after a first date, don't freak out, the good thing is this is a text message. So, you have time to think about what you want to say and whether or not you even want to see them again. There's nothing to worry about. Get your feelings in order, and when you know what you want, use one of these texts.
[Read: How to text them after a first date and make them fall even harder]
What to text after a first date – 12 easy texts to say all the right things
You just had the first date… now what?
#1 Decide what you want. Before sending out a text, figure out what your goal is. Do you want to see this person again? Or did the date show you there wasn't any chemistry? After you know what you want, you can decide what you're actually going to say to this person. Regardless, your text needs to make a point. [Read: 15 signs of a bad first date that reveal a total lack of chemistry]
#2 Text them regardless of what you want. Whether you want to go on a second date or not, you need to let them know. It's not a good look for you to ghost the person you went on a date with.
If you're wondering what to text after a first date, the polite thing to do is to let them know what you're interested in. If you're not interested in them, they can move on. If you're interested in them, they can decide if they want to see you again.
#3 Keep the message short. You don't need to write them an essay on your first-date experience with them. Keep the message short, sweet, and to the point. If you want to see them again, you can say something like, "I had a great time with you, would definitely be interested in seeing you again." It's short, simple, and clear, which is all you need. They'll let you know what they want. [Read: How to flirt after the first date and create the right kind of sparks]
#4 Be truthful. The first date is always the hardest, but you made it through. Now, you need to be truthful to yourself and your date. How do you feel the date went? Whatever your feelings may be, you need to tell them and be honest. It's not easy saying how you feel, whether it's good or bad, but it needs to be done.
#5 Ask if they got home safely. So, you want to send them a text that shows you're interested. Well, you can start off by asking them if they got home safely. Of course, if you're interested in your date, you want to make sure they made it home safely, right? It's a classic line and yet works every single time.
#6 Tell them you had a great time. There's nothing wrong with this line! It's simple and lets them know that you're interested. Everyone wants to know if the other person enjoyed themselves on the date, right? Even if it was clear that you two had an amazing time, it's still nice to hear it come from the other person. [Read: Strong feelings after a first date? How to read all the right signs]
#7 Thank them for the date. You had a great time, right? You enjoyed yourself and want to get to know them more. So, your text should reflect that. Send them a text that says, "Thanks for the date! I had a great time. I'm busy for the next couple of days, but I'm free on Friday night." This way, you knock two birds with one stone. You let them know you enjoyed your time with them, and want to see them again.
#8 Suggest an activity for the second date. If you want to hint that you're interested in a second date without actually saying it, then send them a text about an activity you two should do on the second date.
It implies that you want to see them again, and already put a plan in place. You can say something like, "The sushi was great at that restaurant, but I'm sure we can make better sushi." Now, you just have to wait and see their reply. [Read: How to turn down a second date in the most non-awkward way possible]
#9 Mention a part of the date. Was there a funny joke you two laughed at, or maybe the food at the restaurant you went to was horrible.
If you're still confused over what to text after a first date, you can take any experience from the first date and mention it in your text. If the food was bad, say, "okay, I swear I know a better sushi place. Next time, we'll go there instead." It's cute and suggests a second date.
#10 Give an ego boost. Everybody loves a little ego boost from time to time. If you feel the date went well, you can send them a flirty text and see how it goes. If you thought they were very funny or witty, let them know. You can say, "I had a great time on our date, I've never had someone make me laugh so much! Can't wait to do it again." [Read: The texting and followup guide after a great first date]
#11 Say you want to see them again. Why play games? Your message doesn't have to be elaborate and mind-blowing. Like I said before, simple works best. If you want to see this person again, you should text them this. Of course, whether they want to see you again or not is a completely different story. But it's important you let them know of your intentions.
#12 Accept whatever answer they give. You can text all the right things, but at the end of the day, it really depends on their feelings. They may have had a great time, but feel the right chemistry wasn't there. And what can you do? Not much. Whatever their reply is, whether good or bad, you need to accept it.
[Read: How to ask them out on a second date and get that satisfying yes]
You mastered the first date, which is a huge accomplishment. Now, you just need to use these tips to know what to text after a first date, and figure out what you want and let the other person know by texting them what's on your mind.
The post What to Text After a First Date: 12 Texts to Guide The Conversation is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.
Read More Being betrayed is like no other feeling in the world and can live with you forever. But you can learn how to get over being cheated on and move forward.As someone who endured a relationship where I was cheated on repeatedly for about 4 years, I can tell you not to do what I did. Do not stay with a cheater. Do not blame yourself. When it comes to learning how to get over being cheated on, I hope you can learn from all of my mistakes.
Being cheated on is brutal. It makes you feel foolish, hurt, heartbroken, and angry. It lowers your self-esteem. It breaks your trust not just with the person who cheated but with yourself.
With all of that, no wonder, it is hard to get over. It took me years to fully move on and be ready for a healthy relationship. But, it didn't have to. If I had taken some of the steps I will tell you about here, I could have learned how to get over being cheated on a lot sooner, with a lot less pain, and with a lot more confidence.
[Read: How to get over someone cheating on you and repair the damage]
Get over being cheated on by understanding it
Cheating is something I have never understood. It is something I could never imagine being heartless enough to do. In my book, it has no excuse other than in very specific instances.
So, how do you understand being cheated on? Well, not how you might think.
I know you want closure or an explanation. You think if your ex could just tell you why they did it, you could understand and move on. The thing is, that isn't how it works.
It is very rare that someone who cheated will tell you the truth about why they did it, or even tell you at all. Many times a cheater won't admit it, even with proof.
In my experience, there was no explanation or excuse. Naturally, I blamed myself. I thought if I was better he would stop cheating. If I could measure up to these girls, he would choose me. [Read: How to survive infidelity without tearing apart]
Please hold yourself higher than that. When someone cheats, it very rarely has anything to do with you. Yes, maybe you were overwhelmed with work or in a rut. But, those things do not make cheating acceptable or your fault.
You may have not been the perfect partner or you could've have been, either way, cheating is always a choice for your partner. They could have spoken to you. They could have broken up with you. They could have asked for a break or told you what they were struggling with.
Instead, they cheated and it almost always has a lot more to do with them than with you. I know we reflect on being cheated on by looking in the mirror, it is human nature. But they made the choice.
[Read: Why do people in happy relationships still cheat?]
The reason you probably won't get an honest reason from your ex is that they haven't really processed it. Most cheaters haven't fully analyzed their feelings or considered the fallout or what they have done or why they've done it.
Even if they give you an answer, it probably isn't the full truth. It is likely that they are telling themselves to ease their guilt. If they have fully comprehended what cheating would do to you or why they did it, they probably or hopefully would have made another choice.
But, people aren't perfect. They can't always communicate or even understand their own feelings, and that can lead them to cheat which we feel the repercussions of. [Read: The 10 sneaky giveaways of a potential cheater]
How to get over being cheated on
Once you come to terms with the fact that being cheated on was not about you, you can start to work on how that experience changed you and how to recover.
You can learn how to get over being cheated on. It isn't easy. You need a lot of self-discovery and rationality which can feel a bit pointless at first. [Read: How to behave during a breakup and leave with your head held high]
When those feelings of being fooled are still fresh, it seems like you will never get over this. But learning how to get over being cheated on takes time. And that time is different for everyone. ??Do not let anyone tell you that you should be over it by now. Everyone gets over being cheated on at different times. For some, it could take weeks or months and for others, it can take years. There is no wrong timeline.
But, from my experience, I have come up with some tips to help you get over being cheated on a little faster and with a bit less pain. [Read: 10 questions you always must ask a cheater before dumping them]
#1 Mourn. You do not need to get over being cheated on right away. You have every right to mourn the loss of that relationship. You can be sad or angry or pissed. You can feel like crap.
Take that time. Grieving that relationship is healthy and helps you let go of it. You can look back on the good times while knowing it ended and you were betrayed. It is okay to miss the person that cheated on you even though they hurt you.
#2 Get closure. I don't fully believe in closure. A lot of people feel the need to have one last conversation to end things once and for all. Once you've been ghosted and lied to enough times, you realize that no conversation, apology, or meetup is going to change what happened. [Read: How to find closure within yourself after the end of a relationship]
So, if your partner is begging to explain or to see you or if you feel you need that explanation, go ahead and get it. There is no guarantee it will help you. It probably won't give you an epiphany or help you move on overnight. But, if you feel you need it and your ex is open to it, then go ahead. Just be prepared for a letdown. [Read: The truth behind why you should never seek closure from your partner after a breakup]
#3 Take time. You do not need a rebound in order to learn how to get over being cheated on. You don't need to start dating again or be able to trust someone new right away.
Take time to be single. Rebuilding your self-esteem after being cheated on is so important. Until I realized that I didn't need someone's assurance or undivided attention to feel secure, I wasn't ready to trust anyone, let alone myself.
#4 Protect. I have heard a lot of people say that trying to protect your heart ruins a potential relationship or sets you up for failure. I'm sure you've heard that without putting yourself out there risking it, you won't get what you really want. That is partially true, but you don't need to rush it.
You can meet people and date without being fully open. You don't need to trust people right off the bat. These experiences are what slowly pull you out of your comfort zone. And it is okay to take your time. [Read: The 10 stages of a breakup and how to get through each of them]
#5 Try. It can be daunting to start dating and trying to trust someone new. I've done it. Unfortunately, I had some bad luck and began to trust people that were liars. And that is always a possibility. But, what I learned from actually putting myself out there was that it isn't my loss, it's theirs.
When someone lies to me or leads me on, instead of dwelling on that and thinking I'm not good enough I think of it as a step towards moving on. I am proud of myself for trying and putting myself out there even though it was scary. Even if it doesn't work out, it is a sign you are getting over being cheated on. [Read: Self-discovery after a breakup and how to find yourself again]
#6 Let it be. Some people need to go out and date a lot to be able to trust someone new. Some people need to be single and trust themselves. Some people need a bit of both. That was me.
For about six years, I dated on and off with a lot of bad luck after being cheated on. I was ghosted, lied to, and cheated on again. It sucked. But around year four, I was finally coming to terms with what I wanted.
I would date someone and realize I didn't like them so I didn't need to stick around. ??I didn't need approval from someone else. I would get annoyed at being ghosted rather than get hurt. I then took another break from dating for about a year. I realized it wasn't making me happy. And after that, I met someone and realized I never questioned this person. I never distrusted them or myself. ??I went with my gut and it has been going strong for over six months. [Read: How to find the one without being desperate, and changing the way you see things]
#7 Go to therapy. If you are still struggling with self-esteem or trust issues due to being cheated on and you feel like it is holding you back from living your life, there is nothing wrong with you. We all react to these things differently and it definitely took me a hell of a long time.
But, if you feel like nothing is helping you and you're not making any progress, find a therapist. Whether it is in person or virtual, talking to a professional can help you realize why you are holding onto that fear so much and guide you with baby steps to let go of that fear.
You can learn how to get over being cheated on and have a happy and healthy life. Start small, heal yourself and soon, you'll find the strength to bloom and grow again.
The post How to Get Over Being Cheated On Quickly Without Breaking Apart is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.
Read More Starting a relationship is easier than ending one. When it comes to understanding how to know when a relationship isn't working, it's never easy.Listen, before you look looking to understand how to know when a relationship isn't working out or trying to read the ominous signs, I don't want to freak you out and have you think that a fight here and there means you need to break up with your partner. That's not the case at all.
In every relationship, there's going to be conflict. And it's normal. When you're trying to be with someone other than yourself, you're going to bump heads from time to time. It's not easy adjusting and compromising with another person, but you do it because you want to be with them. But I'm not talking about that.
There may come the point in your relationship where you feel your conflicts aren't being used to push the relationship forward; instead, they're taking you several steps backward.
[Read: 15 signs of a bad relationship you should never ever tolerate]
And if you're feeling this, that's when you need to go snooping for signs or ways on how to know when a relationship isn't working out for you. You may be working towards a goal, but your partner is not meeting you halfway, and this is when the problem arises.
For example, when it comes to my partner and me, we have conflict, but it's always geared towards our future and moving forward. If there was a time where we're just arguing without a goal or reason, then we would have to look at what's going on and why we're really fighting. So, it's time you took a good look at your relationship and decided if it's working for you or not.
[Read: 18 very critical signs of an unhealthy relationship]
How to know when a relationship isn't working – The signs you need to look out for
Is it time to call it quits?
#1 There's no compromise. We love to say this word when describing healthy relationships, but when you look at your own situation, compromising hasn't been practiced between you and your partner. You cave in and do everything they want to do and they never the option of compromising to make both you and them happy. When compromising doesn't exist in a relationship, well, it's not a relationship. [Read: How to compromise in a relationship and not feel like you lost out]
#2 You just feel bad all the time. When was the last time you felt genuine joy and happiness in your relationship? If this is going to be your partner, you should be feeling good around them.
Of course, there will be phases where you won't feel good; maybe you're going through a personal struggle. But your partner should be there to show you the light at the end of the tunnel and give you the love and support you need.
#3 Your gut is telling you what you need to hear. When you're alone with your thoughts, you don't think about positive things about your relationship. Instead, your gut is telling you that something isn't right; something isn't working. And this is the time you need to listen to your gut because it's telling you what you need to hear. [Read: How to know for sure if you're settling in an unhappy relationship]
#4 Where's the intimacy? Of course, there are going to be phases where you won't be as sexual with your partner, that's normal. But if there's no intimacy at all, then you have a serious problem. If your partner is no longer intimate with you and doesn't want to work on this problem, then this relationship isn't working out for you.
#5 There's no communication. You two aren't fighting, but you're not talking either. It seems like you two are just existing next to each other. Being with a partner means there's a deeper connection between you two. But if there's simply no communication or mindless fighting, you need to see what's going on.
#6 You or your partner isn't being honest. Well, this is a big one. If you're finding your partner is hiding things from you or lying to you, then the relationship isn't working. You cannot have a healthy relationship if either partner is lying or hiding things from one another. Honesty is the foundation of a healthy relationship. [Read: The power of words and how they can make or break your relationship]
#7 You no longer show empathy. When your partner had a bad day, in the past, you would show empathy and do something nice to cheer them up. But you no longer show or feel empathy towards your partner. You don't want to understand what they're feeling or connect with them. That's a sign it's over.
#8 You or your partner use the silent treatment. Ah, yes. The silent treatment. What are we? Four-years-old? This is never an effective way to communicate with your partner and is a form of control, which will evolve into abuse. If this tactic is being used in your relationship by either you or your partner, this is highly toxic and will only damage your relationship. If you cannot evolve from using the silent treatment, then the relationship won't work. [Read: How to handle your partner's silent treatment without falling apart with guilt]
#9 You two always correct each other. We've all encountered someone who's a self-proclaimed "grammar police," and it's always annoying. So, you can imagine the effect of correcting your partner has on their emotional and mental health. It makes people feel stupid and frankly, small.
#10 Your emotional needs are not being met. If you're still how to know when a relationship isn't working out on an emotional level, ask yourself how you feel on the inside. Are your emotional needs being met? When you're next to them, do you feel even lonelier and sadder? If you've talked to your partner and yet you're still not feeling satisfied, this isn't a good sign. [Read: 15 signs of a toxic relationship that'll go from bad to worse]
#11 Your fights have a lot of criticism. When you two argue, most of the time, you both spend it criticizing each other. Though you may think it's working at getting your point across, it's not. Criticizing just makes the other person feel inferior and useless in the relationship.
#12 You don't trust each other. You may think you can pull through this, but it's not possible. If you don't trust each other, then you don't have a relationship; it's as simple as that. This relationship will not last unless you two openly agree on working out the trust issues you have with each other. [Read: How to build trust in a relationship and make it work]
#13 No more talks about the future. You two used to talk about where you saw yourselves together in five years, but now, that's all gone silent. You're no longer building a future together, and if that's the case, then why are you still in a relationship with this person?
#14 There's a sense of feeling stuck. When you're sitting on the couch next to your partner, you just feel stuck. There's no feeling of progress in your love life or that you two are heading in any direction. As of now, you just feel as though you're floating through time endlessly. It's time to listen to your gut instinct. [Read: 18 emotions you should never ever feel in a healthy relationship]
#15 You don't spend time together. A couple that spends quality time together, stays together. It's not about hanging out every day; that doesn't make a strong couple. What makes a strong couple is the quality of time you spend together. But if you two don't even spend time at all with each other, then what's the point of being together?
[Read: 16 signs it's clearly time for you to end the relationship right away]
Now that you understand how to know when a relationship isn't working, just look for these signs. It's a hard thing to accept, but if you feel your relationship isn't working, the odds are it's not working. So, what are you going to do about it?
The post How to Know When a Relationship Isn't Working: 15 Revealing Signs is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.
Read More
Ever meet a girl whom you never see express sexuality in any way, around you or any other guy? She might not be asexual – she might just be repressed. Sometimes a woman's sexuality is repressed.
Or, she is so distracted by her other interests in life that boys and sex take a back seat.
When you meet her and you're with her, you won't pick up on any kind of sexual vibe from her. She doesn't talk about sex with you. If you bring it up, she changes the subject. If you joke about it, she ignores the joke. All the fun sexual stuff you do with most girls to her just bounces off. The vibe is 'interested in you but not really in a romantic way'.
Yet, if you do things right, and continue to lead her forward, you can bed her. She is not a 'friend zone' girl or someone without a sex drive.
It's confusing at first. Every guy's met girls his tactics don't work on because the girl's not interested. Such a girl deflects everything you say or do, yet 10 minutes later you see her draped all over another guy. The problem in this case is not 'her'... it is 'her plus you/your game'.
With distracted or repressed girls, this is not the case. You'll do your thing with them, not get your usual reaction, but then if you walk off they will not be draped over another guy should you see them later. If you're in a bar or another place people socialize lots, they might be in another non-sexual looking conversation, or they'll still be alone, having had some other guys come up, take their shots, fail to feel anything happening, then wander off too.
Repressed/distracted girls tend to often actually be fairly straightforward to bed... if you know how they work.
This article is about how they work.
Read More
Should you talk to your friends about pickup? Most aspiring seducers end up alienating their buddies when they do, so it's best to find or build your own community.
Contents
V. Social Media for Community Building
What if I told you there was a secret, hypnotic, neurolinguistic routine guaranteed to make any beautiful woman incredibly hot for you? That by uttering one phrase, she will instantly fall to her knees and begin worshiping your Phallic Lord Mushroom Tip?
It doesn't matter how short, fat, bald, old, brown, or purple you are because it's fail-proof. This knowledge has been guarded by an elite group of top-level pickup gurus for decades and is just now being revealed to the public. Would you want access to this technology?
That's how they got me, too.
When I first got into pickup, it was still a very niche, underground community, and that was the allure. They offered a secret knowledge that very few men were aware of.
There weren't YouTube infield videos with millions of views, and only certain coaches were just beginning to promote a more mainstream, less "hypnotic" version of seduction. It was based on the idea that words alone had power, and less on the more modern, common sense, holistic view of flirtation and self-development. It was very attractive to nerds like myself.
But it was the magic hypnotism that got me hooked. I wanted the Hogwartsian powers of seduction. What scared most normies off the topic was exactly what attracted me. Because if this turned most people off, then it must mean it worked. I had (and still have) the view that most people fear the truth and are a lot like sheep. If they're running from something, I tend to head toward it.
What sort of person are you? Do you run with the herd, or do you question the narrative?
Read More
Girls will test men before opening up to sex. But just because she throws you tests early on doesn't mean the whole seduction will be tedious. The opposite is also true.
Contents
II. Different Women Test in Different Phases
III. Some Girls Are Just Trouble
Hey guys, and welcome back.
Today I want to cover a VERY COMMON bias that I see a lot of men fall for. It is also one that I have been prone to fall for myself.
One assumes that just because a girl seems difficult in one aspect, she is difficult in EVERY aspect.
This is not always the case. I will explain why and share some personal experiences.
You can see how this bias can have a detrimental effect on your success with women. You will drop women who could have been good mates because you wrongly perceived them as unattainable or too much work, when in fact, they weren't.
This bias holds you back. But being aware of it will:
Make you aware that pickup and seduction is not always as hard as it seems, adding motivation and less frustration.
Embolden you to go for amazing women you would otherwise screen out.
Help you avoid demoralization during the pickup. By facing challenges, you do not get discouraged by assuming everything with this girl is hard.
Let me explain this bias, then share examples.
Read More Disaster has occurred. You're finding yourself sexually attracted to a friend! What should you do? Nothing? Make a move? What's the best way forward?One minute your friend is the same as they've always been, just your friend, someone you've known for a while. Then suddenly, bam! Almost out of the blue, you're finding yourself getting sexually attracted to a friend!
You notice that you're feeling a little bit differently towards them all of a sudden. You start to blush when they walk into a room, you look at their hands and wish they were on you, you look at their lips and wonder what it would be like to kiss them. Then, you catch yourself and panic! "What was I thinking?"
Have you ever been in this situation?
If you have, don't worry, it's surprisingly common. Sometimes we develop sexual attraction towards people that we either shouldn't, or we never looked at that way before. It can be as fleeting as it came, or it can stick around. The problem is, if you attempt to make a move on someone who has been your friend for a long time, how can you be sure that your friendship, the most important thing, is going to remain intact and unaffected?
[Read: What does sexual attraction feel like? How to know exactly]
The bottom line is that you can't, and that's why being sexually attracted to a friend can be so different to deal with. Do you do something about it, or do you hope it goes away? Do you say something, or are you worried they will recoil in horror?
Confusing, right?
It's very important that you take the time to think carefully before you do anything here. If at any time in your life you decide to be cautious, this should be it!
[Read: Having sex with your best friend and how to make up your mind]
What you need to remember when you're sexually attracted to a friend
Because this whole deal can be so difficult to handle, check out these points below, helping you to find your way through this sexually charged situation you've found yourself in.
#1 Understand that sex is rarely 'just sex'. For many people, sex turns into something deeper, causing emotions that can be very difficult to handle if the other person doesn't feel the same way. When you have sex, it's like you've crossed a line that can't be undone. Are you ready for that?
Are you going to be able to shake off any potential emotions that might occur and simply be friends? Before you decide whether to do something about becoming sexually attracted to a friend, you have to know that sex isn't just taking your clothes off and doing the deed, it's an event that once done, will change everything in some way at least. [Read: How to know if the sexual tension is mutual? The clues you need]
#2 Some friendships can handle it, others can't. If you don't know your friend that well, if they've only been in your life a short while, that could explain why you've suddenly found yourself desiring their touch. In that case, a friendship such as this one is more likely to survive a sexual encounter than one which has been established for years.
Sure, some friends end up sleeping together randomly and then go on to get married, but it's very, very rare. If you've been friends for many years and you're very close, surely the connection you have as friends is more important than a hook up? [Read: 14 rules for sleeping with a best friend you can't ever ignore]
#3 How will you feel if they move on to someone else? Let's imagine that this isn't an emotional connection you have and that it's a pure sexual attraction. You actually make a move, you end up sleeping together, and that's it.
By some stroke of luck, you manage to remain friends. How will you feel if they move on to someone else? They're completely within their rights to do so, but will it hurt you? Will you become jealous? That's something you have to think about carefully if you begin to feel sexually attracted to a friend. [Read: 15 signs you're more than friends with benefits and starting to get attached]
#4 Is it just sexual or is it emotional too? Are you sure this is purely sexual or are there lingering romantic feelings under the surface? Take some time to think about this carefully and try and pinpoint exactly what it is that you're feeling.
If you are developing deeper feelings and the sexual attraction is just masking it, are you able to continue just being friends or do you want to try and see if it could become more? Again, think very carefully indeed, but know what your motivation is and understand where your feelings stem from.
#5 Always proceed with caution! It should go without saying that if you're sexually attracted to a friend and you do decide to see if they feel the same, you should proceed with extreme caution. There is a high chance they're going to be shocked, and once that shock dies down they will either be on board with the idea, or they won't be. If they're not, will they be able to look at you the same again? How will you feel? [Read: 16 hush-hush signs your friend wants to have sex with you too]
You have to understand that friendship is more valuable than sex. If sex is all you want, surely there is someone out there you can develop a sexual relationship with who doesn't have the same deep friendship connection you have with this person?
That might end up developing into something deeper, but you won't be risking a long-standing friendship in the process.
#6 Know that sometimes we become sexually attracted to people but it doesn't mean anything. Have you ever had a sexy dream about someone you know and then freaked out about it. You start to analyze what it means and panic that your feelings have suddenly gone rogue. Understand that sometimes our feelings just attach themselves to the closest person around, and that it doesn't necessarily mean anything deep. [Read: Platonic sex – Does having sex with a friend have to ruin the friendship?]
Perhaps you're just ready to meet someone new, or you're horny! It could just be that you're feeling a little sexually charged – in that case, you might be sexually attracted to a friend because you feel safe with them. Don't panic, it doesn't necessarily mean that everything has to change. [Read: 14 friendship rules to just be friends without all the drama]
#7 There is no guarantee this is going to go your way. If you do make a move, there is no guarantee they'll see it the same way as you, and if they don't, they could react in a myriad of ways.
I mentioned this earlier when I suggested you should proceed with caution, you also have to know that their reaction could be anything from a giggle to full-blown disgust and shock. You can't control their reaction, so understand that the chances of this going your way are 50/50 at best. Maybe they've been suppressing their sexual attraction to you for a while, maybe they've never thought about it – you have no way of knowing. [Read: Friendzoned? 13 naughty ways to slide back into the sexual zone]
#8 Sometimes sexual attraction just goes away. The thing with sexual attraction is that it's very fickle. You can really fancy someone, but then they do something very small and it puts you off completely. So, if you feel sexually attracted to a friend, know that it could pass very quickly and in that case, is it worth risking your friendship for?
If you have deeper emotional feelings towards this person, that's something else entirely, but if it's purely sexual, it's likely to dissipate within a short space of time.
[Read: How to know if someone is thinking of you sexually and desires you]
Here's something you need to ask yourself. It is worth ruining your friendship for a quick fumble? Sex changes everything, whether you want it to or not.
[Read: Platonic love, sex buddies and all of love's revealing secrets]
When you feel sexually attracted to a friend, it's very easy to panic and think that your friendship is ruined. This isn't the case. We become sexually attracted to random people at the strangest times, and it doesn't always mean something. However, if you choose to make a move on your friend, you have to be prepared for all eventualities.
The post Danger, Danger! You're Suddenly Sexually Attracted to a Friend?! is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.
Read More You thought it would be hard to get hooked by a narcissist? Think again. But knowing how do narcissists hook you, you'll be able to dodge the bait.I think at one point in everyone's lives, they encounter a narcissist. Some of us even live with family members who are narcissistic. But being attracted to one is completely different. Learn to understand how do narcissists hook you, and you'll live a healthier life.
It's easy to get hooked by a narcissist because, well, they're a dream. At least, on paper. They check all the boxes off of what you want in a partner. And then, once you get to know them, you realize they're not anything like they portray.
But by the time that happens, you're already in deep with their manipulation and tactics. Though it's easy to fall for a narcissist's bait, it's even harder to let go.
[Read: Why do people fall for narcissists when they know they shouldn't?]
How do narcissists hook you and 12 tips to dodge the toxic bait
Though you may encounter one or two narcissists in your life, what you don't want is to be friends or romantically involved with one. So, by knowing their games, read the red flags ahead of time and dodge what they throw at you.
As someone who has fallen for a narcissist, it's not easy to move on from them. But once you're free from their chains, you'll see how crazy and unhealthy they really are. I don't want you to get to that point, though. So, it's time you learned how do narcissists hook their victims. [Read: A relationship with a narcissist and what it means to love one]
Don't get caught on their toxic bait.
#1 All narcissists follow a pattern. Their patterns aren't exactly the same, but they're very similar. They usually bring up their challenging past. Most narcissists claim to have difficult childhoods.
They'll develop a heavy backstory, and use their past as an excuse for their current actions. Or, they'll blame their actions on their friends, or you. Either way, they develop secure backstories to defer the responsibility onto something/someone else. [Read: Are you being gaslighted? 14 signs someone's messing with your head]
#2 They love bomb you. It's not as nice as the title makes it sound. Being love-bombed is a tactic narcissists use by showering their partner with affection and love. They go over-the-top by worshiping you in the beginning, until you're hooked. Of course, the victim loves the attention and trust the narcissist gives them, but it eventually all comes to an end. [Read: The signs of love bombing that can be confused with real love]
#3 They bait their victims. At some point, the narcissist will see how far they can go by provoking an emotional reaction from their victim. They'll use the "I'm a good person who cares about you" claim, while shaming, humiliating, and minimizing the victim. In turn, they show their power and superiority over you.
#4 They lie… a lot. You never really know whether what a narcissist is saying to you is true or false. But as a victim, you don't realize what they're saying are all lies. This is what really keeps victims hooked.
A narcissist will tell their victim anything they want and need to hear to keep them around. So, the victim lives a life of bliss, not realizing their narcissist partner or friend is a liar. [Read: 15 ways a pathological liar hurts and confuses you with their lies]
#5 Their lies have no limits. If you think narcissists have some sort of moral compass they follow, you're wrong. When it comes to their schemes, there's not much they won't do. Let's take their lies, for example. They'll often play the pity card, even using fake mental illnesses as a way to get what they want.
#6 They use fake gratitude. We all appreciate it when someone we love shows us gratitude, but with narcissists, they use it to manipulate their victims. They'll use the absolute minimum effort to show their victim gratitude. And ultimately, the victim sees it as a form of kindness and justifies their relationship with the narcissist. [Read: Narcissistic supply – How to stop giving them the attention they crave]
#7 Trauma bonding. There are some victims who become attached to their narcissistic partner; it's called trauma bonding. This is actually somewhat similar to having a drug addiction. The victim is addicted to the rollercoaster of emotions they experience in the relationship. And they're unable to break free. [Read: How to find your way out of the narcissistic victim syndrome]
#8 They promise to change. Ah, yes. The narcissist has made a lot of mistakes throughout the relationship, but the victim stays because there's the hope of change. The narcissist is someone who, when they realize their victim is on their last string, suddenly decides they need help and want to change. They take a couple of steps to change, but it usually falls through.
#9 You're an empath. Here's the thing, some victims just have that quality that narcissists look for in a partner. People who have high levels of empathy are usually most likely to be victims of narcissists. These people are givers and want to help others. This trait is specifically useful for narcissists as they can use these empathetic victims to their advantage. [Read: A narcissist and an empath and why they're a match made in dating hell]
#10 They gaslight victims. This is a form of psychological manipulation that gets people to second-guess themselves. The narcissist will make their victim question their own sanity. Did I really say that? I swear I didn't get drunk last night. By creating this uncertainty, they place the power and control into the hands of the narcissist. Victims see their narcissist as someone greater than themselves. [Read: 16 signs you're being gaslighted by a narcissist you trust]
#11 Intermittent reinforcement. For the victim, they were there since the beginning. And the beginning was romantic, passionate, and fun. They were there before everything went downhill. And so the victim stays because the memory of the good times is hope for the future. They're hoping things will go back to how they were in the beginning. [Read: The narcissistic relationship pattern and the 7 stages you must face]
#12 Their tactics evolve with time. The longer a narcissist is around you, the more time they learn who you are and what makes you tick. So, they constantly evolve their manipulation and learn new ways to control their victim. The last thing a narcissist wants is a victim who realizes what they're doing.
[Read: Understanding what it means to be in a relationship with a narcissist]
If you've been wondering how do narcissists hook you, well, now you know. Armed with this information, you can avoid the tricks and schemes that they'll use on you.
The post How Do Narcissists Hook You: Learn to Dodge Their Toxic Bait is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.
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